The Taxpayers

Here we go! A video introduction to the new album. You can...

Mon, 21 May 2012 19:33:00 -0400

Here we go! A video introduction to the new album.

You can pre-order the CD from us (there is a paypal button for it at the top of this website) - it should be ready by June 15th-ish. The CD version will be a CD-R with handmade packaging and fun little things included. Nothing too fancy, but something physical.

The vinyl record will be super fancy and is currently available for pre-order from Asian Man Records!!! Really Records will have dem vinyls too.

The cassette tape is currently available for pre-order from Plan-It-X Records.

The book (that’s right, an actual physical book!) is currently available for pre-order from Cantankerous Titles!!!

We are in the process of working out a book/album package deal - we’ll keep ya’ll updated!

You can listen to the first track of the album here.

Forever Fucking Stoked,

The Taxpayers

We’re going on tour with The Wild again! We love them...

Wed, 02 May 2012 18:36:31 -0400

We’re going on tour with The Wild again! We love them people.

Here are the dates, tell yo mama and yo brotha. The Taxpayers are coming to town.

WILD AND TAXPAYERS TOUR!
June 22 - June 24: PIX FEST in Bloomington, IN
Monday, June 25: Chicago, IL
Tuesday, June 26: Flint, MI @ TBA
Wednesday. June 27: Detroit, MI
Thursday, June 28: Columbus, OH
Friday, June 29: Cleveland, OH
Saturday. June 30: Buffalo
Sunday, July 1: Eastern NY / Western Mass / New England
Monday, July 2: Vermont
Tuesday, July 3: New England
Wednesday. July 4: Palmer, MA
Thursday, July 5: Boston, MA
Friday. July 6: NYC / Long Island
Saturday, July 7: NYC / Long Island
Sunday, July 8: Philly
Monday, July 9: New Brunswick, NJ @ TBA
Tuesday, July 10: Baltimore, MD @ Charm City Collecive
Wednesday, July 11: DC @ TBA
Thursday, July 12: Richmond, VA @ TBA
Friday, July 13: <—— SPOOOKY! Raleigh / Greensboro / Chapel Hill
Saturday, July 14: Greenville, SC @ Circle A
Sunday, July 15: Atlanta, GA @ The Coven (89 Wyman St) w/ The Disregardables

JUST TAXPAYERS
Monday, July 16: Chattanooga, TN
Tuesday, July 17: Nashville, TN
Wednesday, July 18: Cincinnati, OH
Thursday, July 19: Chicago, IL
Friday, July 20: Milwaukee, WI
Saturday, July 21: Minneapolis, MN @ TBA
Sunday, July 22: Minneapolis, MN
Monday, July 23: HANG OUT WITH ANDREW’s DAD in BIZMARCK-EEEEEEE
Tuesday, July 24: Minot, ND
Wednesday, July 25: DAY OFF IN MONTANA shootin’ TURDS!
Thursday, July 26: Missoula, MT
Friday, July 27: Spokane, WA
Saturday, July 28: Seattle, WA
Sunday, July 29: Portland, OR

SHOWS WILL BE UPDATED ON OUR UPCOMING SHOWS PAGE.

We’re going on tour with The Wild again! We love them...

Wed, 02 May 2012 18:36:09 -0400

We’re going on tour with The Wild again! We love them people.

Here are the dates, tell yo mama and yo brotha. The Taxpayers are coming to town.

SHOWS WILL BE UPDATED ON OUR UPCOMING SHOWS PAGE.

Documentary filmmaker extraordinaire (and our good pal) Clarke...

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:17:36 -0400

Documentary filmmaker extraordinaire (and our good pal) Clarke Howell has been working on a movie about our last Florida tour with the Wild. And here’s the trailer for it! He’s been showing me some clips from it and it is pretty ridiculous. Expect lots of beach-hanging, punk shows, Wu Tang Clan, swimming with dolphins, more punk shows, and so forth. Gonna be fun! Thanks Clarke!

Also: Clarke made this amazing documentary about the porcupine races held every year in a small town in Idaho - you should try to talk him into showing it to you! Here is his facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=801078628 Bug him about it!

Anthony, I’ll never forget the time you pooped your pants...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 20:21:17 -0400

Anthony, I’ll never forget the time you pooped your pants in the van to teach us a lesson when we wouldn’t stop for a bathroom break. You were the only person to beat Noah in a wrestling match, you drank an unreasonable amount of soda, and you made such an enormous impact on so many people. You were a friend to anybody that needed a friend and had an encyclopedic knowledge of horror movies and mid-90’s hardcore. You were so very kind and very brave and you will be very much missed by so very many folks. You made the world much stronger and better than it was before you. Punk is lucky to have had you.

Anthony Poynter (Novermber 1st 1979 - March 30th 2012)

A GOOF PUNK FEST!

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:29:00 -0500

The Gathering Of The Goofpunx is a celebration of DIY-Punk culture in Portland, OR. The weekend will feature all-ages punk shows, a parade, a spelling bee, a punk rock carnival, a late night screening of Weird Al’s classic “UHF”, and a bunch of other weird/fun shit. If DIY-punk culture was only about music, it would be fucking boring.

What’s the Goof Punk movement?
Here’s a link to help better explain.

Come join a group of amazing, friendly, accepting, and above all fun people and party with us in April!

HOSTED BY USELESS STATE RECORDS.

For questions or concerns e-mail:
noah [at] thetaxpayers [dot] net

FREE HEALTHCARE, DAMMIT!

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 23:40:00 -0500

Hey guys! We started a list of free/low cost health and dental care clinics:

http://thetaxpayers.net/healthcare

Life can seem overwhelming when you’ve got serious health issues and no way to pay for it. However, there are services available - you’ve just gotta know where to look. Right now this is a short list that’s related to our own experiences, but we’d like to eventually be able to add a free clinic for every state.

If you have more to add, please get in contact!

RISE OF FUTURE DOGS. COMING SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15th.

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0400

In the year 6000 humans are dead. Cats have risen to power using the cold calculations of mathematics. Dogs can’t do math, and are being slowly eradicated by the evil cat tyrants. But a pack of brave rebel dogs and their penguin friend have set out to change the course of history…

On Saturday, October 15th (Saturday!), the Taxpayers will be performing their 3-act play, “RISE OF FUTURE DOGS” during three consecutive shows. The 1st Act will take place at Red and Black cafe (400 SE 12th) at 6 pm. The 2nd Act will take place a few blocks away at Laughing Horse Books (12 NE 12th) at 9 pm. Intermission (and possibly an extra SECRET act) will take place at the Andrew Jackson Jihad show at the Hawthorne Theater. The final 3rd Act will take place at the Jurassic Park House (5516 N. Mississippi) at midnight.

Come join us for an evening of musical theater, presented to you by Useless State Records. Appropriate attire required.

You guys! The Wild is coming on tour with us!

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 01:13:59 -0400

HOLY ASSING SHIT YOU GUYS! A bunch of big news.

First off, THE WILD has joined the Taxpayers for the entire Florida leg of tour! This is incredible news! The Wild are one of our favorite bands around, and probably one of yours too. If you haven’t heard them, they inevitably will be after you click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ5NVviEEAg

Secondly, we are approaching the Useless State Records WEEKEND SHITSPLOSION OF FUCK!

That’s right, this weekend, there’s two amazing things happening. The first is on Friday, September 30^th at the Fail House (110 N. Failing) for MIX IT UP FUCK IT UP II! http://pc-pdx.com/show-detail/46716

The second is on Saturday, October 1st at the Sea Shanty (2419 N. Russet st.) for Andrew Link’s cassette release party! THE TAXPAYERS are playing their first show in forever, WALTER MITTY and his MAKESHIFT ORCHESTRA are playing their first show in Portland, SWORD OF A BAD SPELLER is gonna drop CRAZY ASS RHYMES, and we’re gonna party all night long. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=249109951797331

Bring your pina coladas, tell your Momz that you’re gonna be up late, and get ready to play Shoe Game until the early morn’!

Useless State Records: Andrew Link's "Impromptu Insanity" on Bandcamp

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:39:59 -0400

Useless State Records: Andrew Link's "Impromptu Insanity" on Bandcamp:

useless-state:

Well, isn’t it your fucking lucky day! Why you ask? Because Andrew (fucking) Link put his newest album (soon to be out on Useless State!) up on Bandcamp for streaming!!!

Feast your ears on this little biscuit. Click there to listen, fool!

HOLY CRAP! For reals, we have been excited…

Winter tour in the works

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 19:08:00 -0400

Well guess fuggin what? We’re going on tour down to the warm South this winter again. Snow birds 4lyfe!

This tour will be in preparation and celebration of some of us moving to New Orleans for school. We will be bringing along our last album To Risk So Much For One Damn Meal on VINYL! and a limited-run tour exclusive EP.

There will be a lot of updates, check the PIX board here.

The Taxpayers’ Whirlwind Of Controversial Mystery Solving Extravaganza Featuring Vin Diesel and Starring Tom Hanks Tour

Thursday, Dec 1- Southern Oregon
Friday, Dec 2 - San Francisco, CA @ TBA
Saturday, Dec 3 - East Bay, CA @ TBA
Sunday, Dec 4 - Mountain View, CA @ TBA
Monday, Dec 5 - Santa Cruz, CA @subrosa infoshop
Tuesday, Dec 6 - Central Cali
Wednesday, Dec 7 - Santa Barbara, CA @ TBA
Thursday, Dec 8 - So Cal
Friday, Dec 9 - Los Angeles, CA @ The Grape House
Saturday, Dec 10 - San Diego, CA @ Che Cafe (benefit show for Che) w/ Joyce Manor, Watercolor Paintings, Roman Candles, and much MORE!
Sunday, Dec 11 - Phoenix, AZ
Monday, Dec 12 - Tucson, AZ
Tuesday, Dec 13 - El Paso, TX @ TBA
Wednesday, Dec 14 - Odessa / Midland, TX
Thursday, Dec 15 - Fort Worth, TX @ 1919 Hemphill
Friday, Dec 16 - Denton, TX
Saturday, Dec 17 - Austin, TX
Sunday, Dec 18 - San Antonio, TX @ TBA with Unfun Productions
Monday, Dec 19 - Houston, TX
Tuesday, Dec 20 - New Orleans, LA

BREAK

Thursday, Dec 29 - Pensacola, FL
Friday, Dec 30 - Gainesville, FL
Saturday, Dec 31 - Sarasota, FL
Sunday, Jan 1 - Sarasota, FL
Monday, Jan 2 - Miami, FL
Tuesday, Jan 3 - Miami, FL
Wednesday, Jan 4 - The KEYS!
Thursday, Jan 5 - THE KEYS!
Friday, Jan 6 - Lake Worth, FL
Saturday, Jan 7 - St. Augustine, FL
Sunday, Jan 8 - Tallahassee, FL
Monday, Jan 9 - Back to New Orleans, LA

Useless State on tumblr

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:20:00 -0400

Well, shoot. Useless State started a tumblr account!

You should stop on by and say hi. Here is the link:
http://useless-state.tumblr.com/

Keep updated to find out what the hell we’re doing with our spare time. The tumblr will let you know of upcoming Useless State releases, mp3 downloads, upcoming shows/tours, and poorly written blog posts. We shoot for the stars here at Useless State

And you should probably know about the REAL website, too.
http://useless-state.com

It has clouds and grass. Very serene.

YES! BTMI! is coming back to PDX armed with a new attitude and a...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:55:52 -0400

YES!

BTMI! is coming back to PDX armed with a new attitude and a new album. I am downright tickled pink for the show. We love deez guys and they always bring the ruckus.

Here are the full-show deets:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=215935055110204

Introducing BONNIE FRENCH, the Useless State Records intern, who...

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:51:09 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Introducing BONNIE FRENCH, the Useless State Records intern, who will be in charge of Useless State while the Taxpayers are on tour. She assures us that absolutely nothing will go wrong, and that she is fully competent to handle her duties. Buy some shit and send her to work, or just drop her a “Hello there, you’re doing a great job, Bonnie!” over at uselessstate@gmail.com

www.useless-state.com

CAT BAT PRINCESS

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 00:04:00 -0400

Well, Richmond Elementary had it’s last day of classes today. It’s kind of both scary, sad, and exciting when that happens, for both the teachers and the students, because yeah, you’re getting out for the summer (!), but you’re also turning a page…you’re never going to see the same group of kids in the same capacity ever again, and…well, what the hell are you gonna do now?! We had a talent show with the preschoolers and kindergarteners - the talents were things like “running”, “hopping”, “fake sleeping”, “burping”, and “light saber fighting”, and each of the talents were accompanied by one of the teachers playing a piano jingle while the kids hopped around on stage. One of the boys came up to me at the end of the day with cardboard wings on, lipstick all over his face, and started yelling “ROB!!! I AM CAT BAT PRINCESS! I AM CAT BAT PRINCESS!!!!” while flapping his wings. He then turned around and ran out the front doors of the school, no longer a student, but rather a deranged creature of the summer night.

On the evening prior to our 8th national tour, I keep thinking about Cat Bat Princess - wings flapping against all odds, lipstick defiantly smeared all over his face. This tour is sort of bittersweet - it’ll be the last one for a while. Kevin’s moving to New Orleans for a year, I’m going off to grad school to get my teacher’s license, and while we’ll continue doing the Taxpayers, there’ll be less tours for the next 2 years or so. We’re so incredibly lucky to have discovered DIY music, and to have made all the incredible friends all across the damn country that we have, that I’m not even all that sad about it, just excited to become another deranged creature of the summer night. Like Cat Bat Princess.

I’m searching for the lipstick as we speak.

CAT BAT PRINCESS TOUR

(subtitled: Punk’s Not Dead, It’s Locked in my Basement Eating Fish Heads Tour)

JUNE TOUR:
June 15: Tacoma, WA @ The Red Room (2313 S. Tacoma ave) All ages! We play at 9pm! w/ The Fun Police
June 16: Cheney, WA @ 601 Clay St w/ Harpo, Wombo Combo, and others! (6:30PM SHARP!!)
June 17: Missoula, MT @ the ZACC Basement ( 235 N. 1st St. West) w/ Buffler, Tyson Ballew, Harpo, and The Scribblers (link)
June 18: Day Off
June 19: Minneapolis, MN @ Psychic School - 2440 Lyndale Ave S w/ Destroy Nate Allen, The Scurvies, Apathedicks, Crimes (ex Paper Cup Band!) (link)
June 20: Minneapolis, MN @ Hymie’s Vintage Records w/ the FUCKING Annadale Cardinals!!!! (link)
June 21: Minneapolis, MN - @ The Krondstadt (ask a punk!) 9 PM SHARP! music over by 10pm w/ Bouncer Fighter
June 22: Milwaukee, WI - Anthony Pointer Benefit @ Cream City Collectives w/ Harpo, State of Nature, Temple, and Borderline Human (link)
June 23: Chicago, IL @ Pancho’s w/ BUST!, Street Eaters, This Is My Fist, and Mean Mug (link) 18+ boo.
June 24: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest (link)
June 25: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest
June 26: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest (WE PLAY!)
June 27: Belleville, IL (near St Louis, MO) @ Illegal Tone Recordings (8 South Church St) w/ Family Might. 16+ or accompanied by a person 18+
June 28: Lincoln, NE @ Mad Ave (2800 N 48th st) 7PM w/ Scratch Howl, Gutterbal, and Minkus (link)
June 29: Fort Collins, CO @ Old Fort Collins Airport Terminal (2200 Airway Ave) w/ Sour Boy Bitter Girl and Dead Dogs (10 pm!)
June 30: SLC, UT @ BOING! w/ Fuck Yes!!!, Society Mis-call, and Cuddleslut.
July 1: Reno, NV @ TBA
July 2: Oakland, CA @ TBA
July 3: Eugene, OR @ TBA w/ Hi Ho Silver, Away! and Quick Attack

Hello? Is that you Darby Splash??

Sun, 15 May 2011 14:46:30 -0400

Holy crap you guys!! In 2 days, we’ve already reached 125% on Kickstarter! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I think y’all made me cry last night…

There are still a bunch of ridiculous prizes available and we have a bunch of gratuitous energy to spend. We also have a few new AMAZING prizes, including adopting a tour-fish to be in care of The Taxpayers. We’re naming him Darby Splash.

Spread the word yo! Tell yo friends, tell yo tumblrs, tell yo blogs, yo facebooks, go tell it off yo mountain, tell yo mama! The Taxpayers are coming to your town.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/155204315/who-killed-tonya-harding

HERES A LITTLE FRESH SAMPLE OF COOKING WITH ROB:

YUM!!!!

WHO KILLED TONYA HARDING!?

Fri, 13 May 2011 14:02:41 -0400

Hello interwebz!!!!

How are you on this most excellent day? It’s so nice out right now! Guess what we did last night? Go ahead, guess! ….. We made a Kickstarter page!

Why you ask? Cause someone killed Tonya Harding! No, NOT that Tonya Harding, the big beautiful boxey metallic one that sits on the road in front of our house. Our van! Simply put, Tonya is super sick and we fear she will not be able to safely travel to Bloomington, Indiana for Plan-It-X Fest. Given this, we need to find a solution and FAST! PIX Fest is next month and it’s a great honor and dream-come-true to be a part of this event, WE HAVE TO BE THERE (we’re playing the same day as Mountain Goats!!!!). So we made a Kickstarter page to help remedy this.

The goal is set pretty low at $400, but the real expense of the trip is much much higher. We have 20 days to meet the goal of $400 (hopefully it will exceed it!!!) and there are a BUNCH of awesome, weird prizes we offer for your lovely dollars.

Please visit our Kickstarter page to read more and PLEASE PLEASE spread the word. Being a true DIY band is expensive and incurs a lot of costs that we cannot generally afford most of the time. We’ve done nine national tours, lets hope for many many more!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped us over the years. You mean so much to us!

xoxo,
The Taxpayers

JUNE TOUR!!!

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 14:09:00 -0400

We’re going on tour this June!!! We will probably come up with a pretty stupid name for the tour in a couple days. You can count on it!!!

So we’re going to Plan-It-X Fest with OUR FULL BAND(finally)! All 7 of us our coming.
Here are the dates:

Wed, June 15 - OLY / Seattle
Thurs, June 16 - Spokane
Fri, June 17 - Missoula
Sat, June 18 - Bismarck (Day Off) <—- we’re gonna drink a bunch of beers and go fishin with Andrew’s dad. YEE-HAWR!!!
Sun, June 19 - Minneapolis
Mon, June 20 - Minneapolis
Tues, June 21 - Minneapolis
Wed, June 22 - Milwaukee / Chicago
Thurs, June 23 - Chicago
Fri, June 24 - PIX FEST
Sat, June 25 - PIX FEST
Sun, June 26 - PIX FEST (WE PLAY!)
Mon, June 27 - St Louis
Tues, June 28 - Lincoln / Omaha
Wed, June 29 - Denver / Ft Collins
Thurs, June 30 - SLC
Fri, July 1 - Reno
Sat, July 2 - San Fran / Oakland
Sunday, July 3 - NAKED IN OUR BEDS AT HOME!

We especially need help in:Denver/Ft Collins, Lincoln/Omaha, and Milwaukee

PS - Our PIXFEST show is gonna make you shit yo pants.

A GOOF PUNK MANIFESTO

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 18:17:00 -0400

Hello friends! On the eve of the first annual Gathering of the Goof Punx, I was asked some very pertinent questions by a handful of the attendees. It went something like this:

“Uh, so…what exactly is a Goof Punk?”
“Yeah, is it, like, a goofy lookin’ punk kid?”
“Wait, so am I a Goof Punk?”

After talking it over with some friends, we realized that the Goof Punx movement had been so loosely defined in the past that nobody really knew just what the hell it was, and whether or not they wanted to be a part of it. Sure, some of us had attached our own definition and beliefs and held it up as a beacon of inspiration, others used it as an excuse to party under a banner, and others thought of it as a funny club to be a part of. We were all into different styles of music, but still considered those different varieties Goof Punk. It became this amorphous creature that we could all get behind.

Ultimately, I think that’s a good thing. However, it’s important to draw some distinctions regarding what makes the Goof Punx different from any other group of folks, and so we thought it would be nice to outline a few positions we could all agree on. Therefore, we present to you the first Goof Punx Manifesto. Please, feel free to add to it as you see fit.

We, the Goof Punx, hold these truths to be self evident:

We hold our arms open to everybody that never felt comfortable anywhere else and believe that exclusion is the antithesis of punk. All the goofy weirdos and nerds that could see the worth and usefullness of other people’s beliefs even if they didn’t agree with them, the comic book nerds, the lovers of libraries, the LOVERS, all those people, and more, are welcome here.

All human beings are created equal. But please, don’t be a jerk and use that freedom to hurt others. The Goof Punx believe in a world free of hatred and bigotry, and although that world doesn’t yet exist, we’d like to use the Goof Punk umbrella as shelter from that storm. Racist, sexist, and all other such bullshit has no place with us.

That Action and Fun are analgous to each other, rather than opposites. It’s important to work towards a better world, and it’s just as important to enjoy every minute of your existence. Goof the hell off while making this place better.

That’s it for now. And like I said, please add your own definition. Consider this a wiki movement in which the correction pen belongs to you.

The RECORDS are IN!!!

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 19:18:00 -0400

Here they are! Fresh in the mail. They are pretty (black/grey marble) and totally awesome. I am pretty damn excited about them.

Here are some photos of the record taken from my phone, the photos are pretty lo-res, but what can you do?

And if you wanna buy it for $10 through Plan-It-X, here is the link!:
http://www.plan-it-x.org/release/the-taxpayers/lp-version-of/