The Taxpayers

RISE OF FUTURE DOGS. COMING SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15th.

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 01:00:00 -0400

In the year 6000 humans are dead. Cats have risen to power using the cold calculations of mathematics. Dogs can’t do math, and are being slowly eradicated by the evil cat tyrants. But a pack of brave rebel dogs and their penguin friend have set out to change the course of history…

On Saturday, October 15th (Saturday!), the Taxpayers will be performing their 3-act play, “RISE OF FUTURE DOGS” during three consecutive shows. The 1st Act will take place at Red and Black cafe (400 SE 12th) at 6 pm. The 2nd Act will take place a few blocks away at Laughing Horse Books (12 NE 12th) at 9 pm. Intermission (and possibly an extra SECRET act) will take place at the Andrew Jackson Jihad show at the Hawthorne Theater. The final 3rd Act will take place at the Jurassic Park House (5516 N. Mississippi) at midnight.

Come join us for an evening of musical theater, presented to you by Useless State Records. Appropriate attire required.

You guys! The Wild is coming on tour with us!

Thu, 29 Sep 2011 01:13:59 -0400

HOLY ASSING SHIT YOU GUYS! A bunch of big news.

First off, THE WILD has joined the Taxpayers for the entire Florida leg of tour! This is incredible news! The Wild are one of our favorite bands around, and probably one of yours too. If you haven’t heard them, they inevitably will be after you click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ5NVviEEAg

Secondly, we are approaching the Useless State Records WEEKEND SHITSPLOSION OF FUCK!

That’s right, this weekend, there’s two amazing things happening. The first is on Friday, September 30^th at the Fail House (110 N. Failing) for MIX IT UP FUCK IT UP II! http://pc-pdx.com/show-detail/46716

The second is on Saturday, October 1st at the Sea Shanty (2419 N. Russet st.) for Andrew Link’s cassette release party! THE TAXPAYERS are playing their first show in forever, WALTER MITTY and his MAKESHIFT ORCHESTRA are playing their first show in Portland, SWORD OF A BAD SPELLER is gonna drop CRAZY ASS RHYMES, and we’re gonna party all night long. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=249109951797331

Bring your pina coladas, tell your Momz that you’re gonna be up late, and get ready to play Shoe Game until the early morn’!

Useless State Records: Andrew Link's "Impromptu Insanity" on Bandcamp

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:39:59 -0400

Useless State Records: Andrew Link's "Impromptu Insanity" on Bandcamp:

useless-state:

Well, isn’t it your fucking lucky day! Why you ask? Because Andrew (fucking) Link put his newest album (soon to be out on Useless State!) up on Bandcamp for streaming!!!

Feast your ears on this little biscuit. Click there to listen, fool!

HOLY CRAP! For reals, we have been excited…

Winter tour in the works

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 19:08:00 -0400

Well guess fuggin what? We’re going on tour down to the warm South this winter again. Snow birds 4lyfe!

This tour will be in preparation and celebration of some of us moving to New Orleans for school. We will be bringing along our last album To Risk So Much For One Damn Meal on VINYL! and a limited-run tour exclusive EP.

There will be a lot of updates, check the PIX board here.

The Taxpayers’ Whirlwind Of Controversial Mystery Solving Extravaganza Featuring Vin Diesel and Starring Tom Hanks Tour

Thursday, Dec 1- Southern Oregon
Friday, Dec 2 - San Francisco, CA @ TBA
Saturday, Dec 3 - East Bay, CA @ TBA
Sunday, Dec 4 - Mountain View, CA @ TBA
Monday, Dec 5 - Santa Cruz, CA @subrosa infoshop
Tuesday, Dec 6 - Central Cali
Wednesday, Dec 7 - Santa Barbara, CA @ TBA
Thursday, Dec 8 - So Cal
Friday, Dec 9 - Los Angeles, CA @ The Grape House
Saturday, Dec 10 - San Diego, CA @ Che Cafe (benefit show for Che) w/ Joyce Manor, Watercolor Paintings, Roman Candles, and much MORE!
Sunday, Dec 11 - Phoenix, AZ
Monday, Dec 12 - Tucson, AZ
Tuesday, Dec 13 - El Paso, TX @ TBA
Wednesday, Dec 14 - Odessa / Midland, TX
Thursday, Dec 15 - Fort Worth, TX @ 1919 Hemphill
Friday, Dec 16 - Denton, TX
Saturday, Dec 17 - Austin, TX
Sunday, Dec 18 - San Antonio, TX @ TBA with Unfun Productions
Monday, Dec 19 - Houston, TX
Tuesday, Dec 20 - New Orleans, LA

BREAK

Thursday, Dec 29 - Pensacola, FL
Friday, Dec 30 - Gainesville, FL
Saturday, Dec 31 - Sarasota, FL
Sunday, Jan 1 - Sarasota, FL
Monday, Jan 2 - Miami, FL
Tuesday, Jan 3 - Miami, FL
Wednesday, Jan 4 - The KEYS!
Thursday, Jan 5 - THE KEYS!
Friday, Jan 6 - Lake Worth, FL
Saturday, Jan 7 - St. Augustine, FL
Sunday, Jan 8 - Tallahassee, FL
Monday, Jan 9 - Back to New Orleans, LA

Useless State on tumblr

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:20:00 -0400

Well, shoot. Useless State started a tumblr account!

You should stop on by and say hi. Here is the link:
http://useless-state.tumblr.com/

Keep updated to find out what the hell we’re doing with our spare time. The tumblr will let you know of upcoming Useless State releases, mp3 downloads, upcoming shows/tours, and poorly written blog posts. We shoot for the stars here at Useless State

And you should probably know about the REAL website, too.
http://useless-state.com

It has clouds and grass. Very serene.

YES! BTMI! is coming back to PDX armed with a new attitude and a...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:55:52 -0400

YES!

BTMI! is coming back to PDX armed with a new attitude and a new album. I am downright tickled pink for the show. We love deez guys and they always bring the ruckus.

Here are the full-show deets:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=215935055110204

Introducing BONNIE FRENCH, the Useless State Records intern, who...

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:51:09 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Introducing BONNIE FRENCH, the Useless State Records intern, who will be in charge of Useless State while the Taxpayers are on tour. She assures us that absolutely nothing will go wrong, and that she is fully competent to handle her duties. Buy some shit and send her to work, or just drop her a “Hello there, you’re doing a great job, Bonnie!” over at uselessstate@gmail.com

www.useless-state.com

CAT BAT PRINCESS

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 00:04:00 -0400

Well, Richmond Elementary had it’s last day of classes today. It’s kind of both scary, sad, and exciting when that happens, for both the teachers and the students, because yeah, you’re getting out for the summer (!), but you’re also turning a page…you’re never going to see the same group of kids in the same capacity ever again, and…well, what the hell are you gonna do now?! We had a talent show with the preschoolers and kindergarteners - the talents were things like “running”, “hopping”, “fake sleeping”, “burping”, and “light saber fighting”, and each of the talents were accompanied by one of the teachers playing a piano jingle while the kids hopped around on stage. One of the boys came up to me at the end of the day with cardboard wings on, lipstick all over his face, and started yelling “ROB!!! I AM CAT BAT PRINCESS! I AM CAT BAT PRINCESS!!!!” while flapping his wings. He then turned around and ran out the front doors of the school, no longer a student, but rather a deranged creature of the summer night.

On the evening prior to our 8th national tour, I keep thinking about Cat Bat Princess - wings flapping against all odds, lipstick defiantly smeared all over his face. This tour is sort of bittersweet - it’ll be the last one for a while. Kevin’s moving to New Orleans for a year, I’m going off to grad school to get my teacher’s license, and while we’ll continue doing the Taxpayers, there’ll be less tours for the next 2 years or so. We’re so incredibly lucky to have discovered DIY music, and to have made all the incredible friends all across the damn country that we have, that I’m not even all that sad about it, just excited to become another deranged creature of the summer night. Like Cat Bat Princess.

I’m searching for the lipstick as we speak.

CAT BAT PRINCESS TOUR

(subtitled: Punk’s Not Dead, It’s Locked in my Basement Eating Fish Heads Tour)

JUNE TOUR:
June 15: Tacoma, WA @ The Red Room (2313 S. Tacoma ave) All ages! We play at 9pm! w/ The Fun Police
June 16: Cheney, WA @ 601 Clay St w/ Harpo, Wombo Combo, and others! (6:30PM SHARP!!)
June 17: Missoula, MT @ the ZACC Basement ( 235 N. 1st St. West) w/ Buffler, Tyson Ballew, Harpo, and The Scribblers (link)
June 18: Day Off
June 19: Minneapolis, MN @ Psychic School - 2440 Lyndale Ave S w/ Destroy Nate Allen, The Scurvies, Apathedicks, Crimes (ex Paper Cup Band!) (link)
June 20: Minneapolis, MN @ Hymie’s Vintage Records w/ the FUCKING Annadale Cardinals!!!! (link)
June 21: Minneapolis, MN - @ The Krondstadt (ask a punk!) 9 PM SHARP! music over by 10pm w/ Bouncer Fighter
June 22: Milwaukee, WI - Anthony Pointer Benefit @ Cream City Collectives w/ Harpo, State of Nature, Temple, and Borderline Human (link)
June 23: Chicago, IL @ Pancho’s w/ BUST!, Street Eaters, This Is My Fist, and Mean Mug (link) 18+ boo.
June 24: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest (link)
June 25: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest
June 26: Bloomington, IN @ Plan-It-X Fest (WE PLAY!)
June 27: Belleville, IL (near St Louis, MO) @ Illegal Tone Recordings (8 South Church St) w/ Family Might. 16+ or accompanied by a person 18+
June 28: Lincoln, NE @ Mad Ave (2800 N 48th st) 7PM w/ Scratch Howl, Gutterbal, and Minkus (link)
June 29: Fort Collins, CO @ Old Fort Collins Airport Terminal (2200 Airway Ave) w/ Sour Boy Bitter Girl and Dead Dogs (10 pm!)
June 30: SLC, UT @ BOING! w/ Fuck Yes!!!, Society Mis-call, and Cuddleslut.
July 1: Reno, NV @ TBA
July 2: Oakland, CA @ TBA
July 3: Eugene, OR @ TBA w/ Hi Ho Silver, Away! and Quick Attack

Hello? Is that you Darby Splash??

Sun, 15 May 2011 14:46:30 -0400

Holy crap you guys!! In 2 days, we’ve already reached 125% on Kickstarter! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I think y’all made me cry last night…

There are still a bunch of ridiculous prizes available and we have a bunch of gratuitous energy to spend. We also have a few new AMAZING prizes, including adopting a tour-fish to be in care of The Taxpayers. We’re naming him Darby Splash.

Spread the word yo! Tell yo friends, tell yo tumblrs, tell yo blogs, yo facebooks, go tell it off yo mountain, tell yo mama! The Taxpayers are coming to your town.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/155204315/who-killed-tonya-harding

HERES A LITTLE FRESH SAMPLE OF COOKING WITH ROB:

YUM!!!!

WHO KILLED TONYA HARDING!?

Fri, 13 May 2011 14:02:41 -0400

Hello interwebz!!!!

How are you on this most excellent day? It’s so nice out right now! Guess what we did last night? Go ahead, guess! ….. We made a Kickstarter page!

Why you ask? Cause someone killed Tonya Harding! No, NOT that Tonya Harding, the big beautiful boxey metallic one that sits on the road in front of our house. Our van! Simply put, Tonya is super sick and we fear she will not be able to safely travel to Bloomington, Indiana for Plan-It-X Fest. Given this, we need to find a solution and FAST! PIX Fest is next month and it’s a great honor and dream-come-true to be a part of this event, WE HAVE TO BE THERE (we’re playing the same day as Mountain Goats!!!!). So we made a Kickstarter page to help remedy this.

The goal is set pretty low at $400, but the real expense of the trip is much much higher. We have 20 days to meet the goal of $400 (hopefully it will exceed it!!!) and there are a BUNCH of awesome, weird prizes we offer for your lovely dollars.

Please visit our Kickstarter page to read more and PLEASE PLEASE spread the word. Being a true DIY band is expensive and incurs a lot of costs that we cannot generally afford most of the time. We’ve done nine national tours, lets hope for many many more!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped us over the years. You mean so much to us!

xoxo,
The Taxpayers

JUNE TOUR!!!

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 14:09:00 -0400

We’re going on tour this June!!! We will probably come up with a pretty stupid name for the tour in a couple days. You can count on it!!!

So we’re going to Plan-It-X Fest with OUR FULL BAND(finally)! All 7 of us our coming.
Here are the dates:

Wed, June 15 - OLY / Seattle
Thurs, June 16 - Spokane
Fri, June 17 - Missoula
Sat, June 18 - Bismarck (Day Off) <—- we’re gonna drink a bunch of beers and go fishin with Andrew’s dad. YEE-HAWR!!!
Sun, June 19 - Minneapolis
Mon, June 20 - Minneapolis
Tues, June 21 - Minneapolis
Wed, June 22 - Milwaukee / Chicago
Thurs, June 23 - Chicago
Fri, June 24 - PIX FEST
Sat, June 25 - PIX FEST
Sun, June 26 - PIX FEST (WE PLAY!)
Mon, June 27 - St Louis
Tues, June 28 - Lincoln / Omaha
Wed, June 29 - Denver / Ft Collins
Thurs, June 30 - SLC
Fri, July 1 - Reno
Sat, July 2 - San Fran / Oakland
Sunday, July 3 - NAKED IN OUR BEDS AT HOME!

We especially need help in:Denver/Ft Collins, Lincoln/Omaha, and Milwaukee

PS - Our PIXFEST show is gonna make you shit yo pants.

A GOOF PUNK MANIFESTO

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 18:17:00 -0400

Hello friends! On the eve of the first annual Gathering of the Goof Punx, I was asked some very pertinent questions by a handful of the attendees. It went something like this:

“Uh, so…what exactly is a Goof Punk?”
“Yeah, is it, like, a goofy lookin’ punk kid?”
“Wait, so am I a Goof Punk?”

After talking it over with some friends, we realized that the Goof Punx movement had been so loosely defined in the past that nobody really knew just what the hell it was, and whether or not they wanted to be a part of it. Sure, some of us had attached our own definition and beliefs and held it up as a beacon of inspiration, others used it as an excuse to party under a banner, and others thought of it as a funny club to be a part of. We were all into different styles of music, but still considered those different varieties Goof Punk. It became this amorphous creature that we could all get behind.

Ultimately, I think that’s a good thing. However, it’s important to draw some distinctions regarding what makes the Goof Punx different from any other group of folks, and so we thought it would be nice to outline a few positions we could all agree on. Therefore, we present to you the first Goof Punx Manifesto. Please, feel free to add to it as you see fit.

We, the Goof Punx, hold these truths to be self evident:

We hold our arms open to everybody that never felt comfortable anywhere else and believe that exclusion is the antithesis of punk. All the goofy weirdos and nerds that could see the worth and usefullness of other people’s beliefs even if they didn’t agree with them, the comic book nerds, the lovers of libraries, the LOVERS, all those people, and more, are welcome here.

All human beings are created equal. But please, don’t be a jerk and use that freedom to hurt others. The Goof Punx believe in a world free of hatred and bigotry, and although that world doesn’t yet exist, we’d like to use the Goof Punk umbrella as shelter from that storm. Racist, sexist, and all other such bullshit has no place with us.

That Action and Fun are analgous to each other, rather than opposites. It’s important to work towards a better world, and it’s just as important to enjoy every minute of your existence. Goof the hell off while making this place better.

That’s it for now. And like I said, please add your own definition. Consider this a wiki movement in which the correction pen belongs to you.

The RECORDS are IN!!!

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 19:18:00 -0400

Here they are! Fresh in the mail. They are pretty (black/grey marble) and totally awesome. I am pretty damn excited about them.

Here are some photos of the record taken from my phone, the photos are pretty lo-res, but what can you do?

And if you wanna buy it for $10 through Plan-It-X, here is the link!:
http://www.plan-it-x.org/release/the-taxpayers/lp-version-of/

HOLY CRAP! Our friend Tony Cippole made this totally great...

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 16:42:37 -0500

HOLY CRAP! Our friend Tony Cippole made this totally great music video for Everything is Awful. THANKS TONY!

Okay, a few amazing things. First off, this should have been...

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:02:00 -0500

JACK, KRISTEN, and JABBA OF MINE CANARY!

BOBBY MUFFMAN THE MUFFLER MAN!

Our new door handle! Thanks Bobby!

Okay, a few amazing things. First off, this should have been posted a LOOONG time ago, but did we ever tell ya’ll how much we love Jack and Kristen of MINE CANARY? We met them and their pup Jabba (JABBBAAAA!) in Sarasota towards the end of our Florida residency, and proceeded to spend every single day and night with them at their sweet Alamo house. Seriously, some of the nicest people we’ve ever met who make some seriously awesome and interesting noise music.

Speaking of people you meet along the way that rekindle your faith in humanity, Trent and Anna of Nashville are saints. I couldn’t find a picture of them, but rest assured, they are super folks. Trent even traveled with us to Little Rock and Tulsa after we left Nashville!

Lastly, after noticing some crazy ass sounds coming from the van, this morning we checked the shocks on Tony Harding, and guess what? The rear shock had COMPLETELY FALLEN OFF! OH NO! How the hell were we gonna get to Amarillo, Texas with no rear shock? After calling every phone number in the Yellow Pages, we stumbled across Broken Arrow Muffler and luckily, Bobby Muffman the Muffler Man had the answer!

He knew right off that we were a band and knew that we had to be on the road within the hour, so he ushered us in, started welding a bunch of shit together, and fixed everything on the spot, all while we bullshitted with him and his sister about Rockabilly.

The best part is this: ever since tour started, the driver’s side door hasn’t had a door handle. If the driver wants out of the car, someone’s got to let them out. Well, Bobby noticed this and got a real funny grin on his face. He then proceeded to weld a random piece of metal to the door, and WALLA! THE PUNKEST DOOR HANDLE EVER MADE!

New videos posted!

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:35:00 -0500

Hey y’all! We’re in the van on our way to Nashville to play at the Little Hamilton Collective with Chicken Little and the Devin Robinson Band! Woo!

Our friends in Macon, Savannah, and Atlanta were able to get some videos! The playlist is posted in the photos/videos section. Thanks much Dakota and Chris!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB!!!! TOUR STARTS TODAY!

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 15:00:23 -0500

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB!!!!

TOUR STARTS TODAY!

Photo

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 22:54:34 -0500

So... Sarasota

Sun, 30 Jan 2011 03:39:55 -0500

Our proposed plan at the start of tour was:

Use our shows to fund our way across the country
Be very grateful for food stamps
Arrive in Florida
Form a Jimmy Buffett tribute band to make money
Drive around awhile, see some friends
Live in a storage unit! Yeah! (?)
Make friends to set up shows, have fun, etc…
Record in Orlando
Tour home

So far, everything has gone swimmingly! “Coconut Telegraph” was a huge success in the keys, and our great friend Trevor is helping us put together a bunch of new tunes! We even met so many cool folks in Sarasota that we got to throw a big dinner party on our last day in the storage unit! Big thanks to Jack and Kristen for all the help in our last week. Meeting them was a treat.

We were playing a show at the “Blue Owl” in Sarasota, the sad part is they didn’t even know we were playing! Oh no! However, at a gas station before the show we waved down the most fun looking folks we had seen in Sarasota saying “come to our punk rock show!”. They did.

It turns out they are some of the most rad Floridians we’ve met all tour! They let us stay at their totally awesome house called The Alamo, and even set us a show with their noise performance Mine Canary in St. Pete. Tons of fun all the days.

So take that, non believers! Lunch is lasting FOREVER!

(At least until the end of winter)

Site redesign!

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 06:22:21 -0500

Hey everyone! We’re working with the themes to make the site better offer it’s content. It’s a little barebones, and if you run into any issues let us know, but you should be able to stream our albums from the Music! section, and get a clearer view of the tour schedule from the Tour! tab. Woo!

Expect more content to be flowing in, and more updates as we begin to start recording our new album!

It may be best to end on this note: We just left our storage unit in Sarasota, and we held a fancy dinner party to kick off the trip back home.